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Saturday, April 15, 2006

Michelle Malkin, South Park, and People with Far too much Time on Their Hands

(Keywords: politics, media, pundit, conservative, all the pencils must be exactly the same length! )

I checked out Michelle Malkin's blog last night (and then I took a shower). It's amazing what she thinks is worth in-depth examination.

It turns out that South Park was going to air an episode featuring Mohammed. But Comedy Central chickened out and censored it. Apparently this was the worst thing to happen since 9/11, but I can't figure out why. And I guess liberals are supposed to have something to do with it, but I can't figure that out either.

The hilarity begins when someone called 'Allah Pundit' examines the episode for evidence of editing - I guess an episode of South Park is the most important thing ever to happen in the history of man. You'd think so anyway, it's like an analysis of the Zapruder film. This is verbatim:

"Now look at the first fake image. See that bit of excess light coloring near the rear part of the fish? That's a Photoshop artefact. The faker needed to show Mohammed carrying the helmet across the threshold, but there was no footage of that in the original broadcast; he had to make it from scratch. What he probably did was to take the top image, where the helmet is already in Family Guy's hands, and then use the lasso tool in Photoshop to draw a line around it. Then he could copy it, shrink it, and transplant it to a prior frame for placement in Mohammed's hands. The problem is, his line-drawing was sloppy: he inadvertently captured a bit of that background flesh tone and toga when using the lasso tool and then forgot to erase it before posting the video. If the clip were real, there would have been no reason for that bit of coloring to be there.

"Now look at the second image. The line around the fish's mouth is broken. Why would that be true in the uncensored clip (if it were real) and not the clip that was actually broadcast? Again, it's probably because of sloppy Photoshopping: the faker had to create a new layer from the helmet in order to foreground it against Mohammed's body. He probably zoomed in to do touch-ups to the new layer, to make sure the colors looked nice and even for plausibility's sake, and an errant brush stroke broke the line around the mouth. Again, wouldn't/shouldn't have happened if the clip were real."

"And that's why there had to be a second shooter on the grassy knoll..." I swear that's exactly what's on her site. There's some hard-hitting investigative journalism, huh? I can't wait for the search for pro-soviet messages in old episodes of The Flintstones. There's something hinky about Gazoo...

Obsess much, Michelle? I wonder if she alphabetizes her canned goods.