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Friday, July 07, 2006

Next Up, a Boycott on Faberge Eggs

(Keywords and tags: , , , , the s - who doesn't freakin' care)

I love press releases from Crazytown. Crazytown is a weird place with a different Mayor practically every week. This week, the Mayor of Crazytown is Don Wildmon, founder and chairman of the rightwing American Family Association. Sometimes it's hard to figure out whether the Mayor is nuts, stupid, lying, or all of the above. This week is no different.

According to Agape Press, Mayor Don's really excited over a boycott of Ford Motor Company. The problem AFA has with Ford is that the company doesn't hate gays nearly enough to get good christian dollars. So AFA is using its mighty market muscle to bring the godless automaker to its knees. Agape tells us:

The latest sales figures for Ford Motor Company continue the ongoing story of the company's declining bottom line -- a several-percentage-points drop in sales that the leader of a pro-family group ties in with a boycott and the economy.

Ford says its report for June, released this week, shows the company's total auto sales down 6.9 percent. Car purchases did rise 7.1 percent; however, truck sales dropped 14.5 percent. Don Wildmon, founder and chairman of the American Family Association (AFA), believes one of the things hurting the auto manufacturer's profit margin is the boycott his organization launched against the automaker this year.

AFA initiated the Ford boycott to protest Ford's affiliation with homosexual and liberal causes. Other organizations and individuals have joined in, and Wildmon believes the pro-family consumer protest is progressively hurting the automotive giant. "They've been going downhill at least since we began the boycott," he says, "and their stock continues to fall."

Is AFA a consumer behemoth on par with the American Association of Retired People (AARP)? Hardly. According to the banner on their website, AFA is "3,046,240 Supporters Strong and Growing!". (Whoohoo!)

How much do you want to bet that those 3,046,240 (an oddly specific number) aren't all driving new cars right now? Boycotting a car company's a lot like cutting down on your consumption of diamonds - you don't buy them often enough to make a damned bit of difference.

Besides, it's a bunch of crap anyway. All of the Big 3 automakers experienced a slump in June, with Ford - despite the horrible handicap this devastating boycott has imposed on it - coming out the best of the three. From The New York Times:

Stubbornly high gasoline prices sapped June sales of the profitable pickup trucks and sport utility vehicles made by Detroit's leading automakers, while Asian rivals reaped the benefits because of their reputation for fuel efficiency.

Sales data for June, released earlier this week showed that General Motors and Ford Motor hit new lows for market share in the first six months of the year, while Toyota and Honda posted record sales for the same period. The top 10 Asian manufacturers accounted for 37.3 percent of the American car market in June, just shy of the record 40 percent they recorded in May.


Chrysler ended June with nearly 550,000 unsold SUVs after sales plunged 15 percent for the month. The vice president of the Chrysler Group, Steven J. Landry, said the current incentive program was aimed specifically at reducing its light truck inventory.


Ford was the only Detroit automaker to increase its market share in June, to 16.7 percent from 16.1 a year ago. The second-largest automaker sold 8.6 percent more passenger cars but 14.8 percent fewer trucks and SUVs, according to Autodata.

Damn the NYT's liberal bias! Not a word about the earth-shattering boycott power of AFA. This is more a story about the foolishness of relying on trucks and SUVs than it is about any boycott from a bunch of religious fruitloops.

So what's AFA's gripe anyway? Best to let them tell you in their own words.

Ford "Proves" Commitment To Homosexual Agenda

Ford Motor Company has proven its commitment to the homosexual agenda by sponsoring a TV program featuring a passionate kiss between two lesbians.

Last fall, in a meeting with AFA, Ford agreed to stop funding the homosexual agenda, including homosexual marriage. (See details below.)

On a recent episode of CBS's Without A Trace, Ford proved to the homosexual community the company's commitment to their agenda. The Ford-sponsored program included a scene of two lesbians passionately kissing each other.

To see what Ford sponsored, click here. (Warning! This scene is very offensive!)

Oh geez! I'm literally laughing my ass off as I write here - please excuse any typos. I can't help but imagine the Mayor of Crazytown playing this clip over and over, wondering why he's both appalled and unwholesomely interested. Seriously, it's nothing. AFA's problem is that a TV show acknowledged that lesbians exist. That's not the only problem, of course, AFA also faults them for advertising Jaguars in The Advocate, a magazine for the LGBT community.

Oh man! I'm dying here - "let's all stop buying freakin' Jags!"
But what's really funny is the companies you're supposed to boycott - the entire Ford Motor galaxy of companies; Ford, Lincoln, Mercury, Mazda, Volvo, Jaguar, Land-Rover, and Aston Martin. I'm boycotting Aston Martin myself - it's called 'not being freakin' rich'. God help Bentley if AFA ever sets their sites on them.

Now you see why I call these 'press releases from Crazytown', the citizens are delusional and the Mayor's always a clown.