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Friday, August 25, 2006

CNN Host Mocks the Blind, is a Dick, and Talks like Jiminy Glick

I've written before about what a dick CNN's Glenn Beck is. And a lot of people seem to agree -- when I get search engine traffic, the search term's as likely to be 'Glenn Beck asshole' as anything else. He is not beloved by millions.

So it really shouldn't surprise anyone that Beck's been caught being an asshole by Media Matters. There's more in this clip than just making fun of the blind, but let's stay focused. Media Matters' transcript is below the video.

BECK: All right. If you look up the word "stereotype" in the dictionary, you will see it defined as conventional or over-simplified conception, opinion or image. But if you run that definition through my bull crap-to-English dictionary that I was just talking about there in that radio clip, you'll find that stereotype -- I mean, it's stuff that a lot of people believe in because sometimes they're really true.

Either way, the politically correct world we live in, a world where, you know, I can't even show a picture of a missing student because he's Egyptian, "Oh, don't. What? You hate all Arabs?" No! It doesn't allow you to publicly talk about stereotypes or sensitive questions about age or race or religion. You can't even say anything about it or just ask an honest question.

It's not very often that questions like, "How come Asians are so good at math?" or "Have you ever noticed, Jews, they're all good at making money?" You can't say those things out in the open. But for our next guest, answering those kinds of questions and then dealing with the -- just the on-fire, inflammatory responses that they cause are this guy's life. Phillip Milano is -- oh, jeez, with a name like Milano, you must be in organized crime?

PHILLIP MILANO (Florida Times-Union columnist): Yes. Oh, absolutely.

BECK: You are -- you're the writer of "Dare to Ask." What is the point of this column?

MILANO: Well, "Dare to Ask," Glenn, like my book, I Can't Believe You Asked That!, is -- it's a chance for people to ask those kinds of taboo cultural questions that we all wish we could ask but we're so afraid of offending in this P.C. world that, you know, we -- we dance around it, as you were saying earlier.

BECK: OK. I have one. I have one. I'm going to get to some of the questions that have already been asked, but I've got one that drives me out of my mind. I work at Radio City in midtown Manhattan, and up by the doors, you know, like where the -- you know -- the office kitchen is, in Braille, on the wall, it says "kitchen." You'd have to -- a blind person would have to be feeling all of the walls to find "kitchen." Just to piss them off, I'm going to put in Braille on the coffee pot -- I'm going to put, "Pot is hot." Ow!

Once again, Beck's trying to be funny and fails miserably. The only funny thing about this is that he talks like Martin Short's Hollywood reporter character, Jiminy Glick -- high-pitched one moment, gravelly the next -- and I really doubt that's intentional.

Making fun of the blind doesn't make you funny or edgy, Glenn, it makes you an ass. Why would having Braille signs on the walls be something 'that drives him out of his mind'? WTF is the problem? Do the up arrows on elevators piss him off, too? You kind of need a label on the kitchen if you're blind because -- and I know I'm in danger of losing the Beck fans here -- blind people can't see it's a kitchen. That's the way this whole blind thing works -- they're not being deliberately contrary and refusing to use their eyes. How the hell is that being 'politically correct'?

Beck really wants to be a 'light-hearted look at the news', but he doesn't succeed in the most embarrassing way. You wonder if he's ever seen comedy performed by someone older than nine years old. What he's trying to do is ask a question that makes you think about how ridiculous the subject is, like 'why did kamikaze pilots wear helmets?' or 'why do they call it "stationary" when you're supposed to send it somewhere?' 'Why do blind people need signs?' isn't a clever observation, it's just a really stupid question.

Luckily for those of us with brains, Beck's CNN show has no legs. The words 'Glenn Beck's long-running cable news show' will never be spoken by anyone.


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1 comment:

spazmo said...

I guess I'm not in the minority, given that "glenn beck asshole" were the three magic words that led me here.

(Maybe you should brace yourself for a storm of "glenn beck glick" search-query traffic hits.)

Seriously, the guy's a sickening boor. How can anyone so greasy-looking be so abrasive? It defies the physics of friction...