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Wednesday, September 19, 2007

The Largest Block of [Crazy] Voters in America

Empty podiums
Janet Folger introduces Romney, McCain, Thompson, and Giuliani (represented by empty podiums) at the Values Voter Debate

Over at the reliably goofy WorldNetDaily, columnist Janet Folger wrote before Monday's big Values Voter Debate, "I predict the Values Voter Straw Poll will unify the pro-family movement and determine the nominee. Unlike other straw polls that are flawed by design, where candidates have bussed in supporters or paid for their tickets, more than 600 delegates to the Values Voter Debate Straw Poll were submitted by 40 national leaders to accurately represent America's largest voting block."

So, who won that straw poll monday night? Former Arkansas Governor Mike Huckabee. Yeah, good luck with that.

Here's a breakdown of the rest of the field; Rep. Ron Paul, of Texas, 12 percent; Alan Keyes, who made his debut as a candidate at the debate, 5 percent, Senator Sam Brownback, 5 percent; Rep. Duncan Hunter 4 percent; Fred D. Thompson, 4 percent; Rep. Tom Tancredo, 2 percent; Rudolph W. Giuliani 1 percent, Senator John McCain and John Cox, 1 percent; Mr. Romney, 0 percent.

If you're wondering who John Cox is, you're not the only one. He's a Chicago businessman, presidential Z-lister, and probably the only candidate who has less of a chance of getting into the White House than the nominee for the American Communist Party. Yet Cox tied Rudy Giuliani and John McCain, and actually beat Romney -- the only candidate to get zero votes. Are all the national polls wrong? Is this the real pulse of the Republican voter?

Or is there another explantion?

Why yes, there is. The people at the Values Voters debate are all freakin' crazier than a sack of cats. Welcome to scary-assed right wing nutcase land.

To give you an idea of just how crazy these people are, consider that the debate opened with a version of God Bless America -- sung by a full gospel choir -- rewritten as Why Should God Bless America?. Seriously, I'm not making that up. Right Wing Watch has the full lyrics and a video if you're interested, but here's just a taste:

Why should God bless America?
She's forgotten he exists
And has turned her back
On everything that made her what she is

Why should God stand beside her
Through the night with the light from his hand?
God have mercy on America
Forgive her sin and heal our land

The courts ruled prayer out of our schools
In June of '62
Told the children "you are your own God now
So you can make the rules"
O say can you see what that choice
Has cost us to this day
America, one nation under God, has gone astray

Can you imagine what would've happened if a lefty debate had begun with a "God hates America" song like this? Liberal media my ass. Don't expect that to get a lot of press. Not only is it disrespectful, anti-american, and rhythmically challenged, it's not even right -- when did the courts tell kids "you are your own God now?"

In fact, complete horsecrap seems to be the entire purpose of the VVD -- the organizers' "Contract with Congress" begins with the sentence, "We are citizens of the United States of America and subjects of the sovereign Creator, acknowledged in the Declaration of Independence as the Supreme Ruler and Judge of the World."

Except the Declaration doesn't say that at all. It says that all men are endowed by their creator with certain unalienable rights. It doesn't say jack about any "Supreme Ruler and Judge of the World."

After this "let's all hate America" show, things actually took a turn for the worse. The top-tier GOP candidates -- Rudy Giuliani, Fred Thompson, John McCain, and Mitt Romney -- had all skipped the event. It seems likely to me that they all had the general election in mind and anyone who thinks that Why Should God Bless America? wouldn't wind up in a dem campaign ad is dreaming. It'd be freakin' ballot box gold. It's not often that I have anything good to say about any of these guys, but skipping the debate was a very, very good move.

As I say, things went south right away, with the absent candidates represented by empty podiums (podia?). Questions were actually posed to these blank spaces, followed by two minutes of silence as the candidates' time ran out. The debate took three freakin' hours and a good chunk was wasted with this incredibly boring symbolic gesture. RWW has this take on it:

And it is probably a good thing [the frontrunners] skipped the event, since it is unlikely that Fred Thompson would have enjoyed listening to Mat Staver compare same-sex marriage to slavery, or that Mitt Romney would have enjoyed being called a hypocrite by Peter LaBarbera, or that John McCain would have appreciated Janet Folger's condescending tone, or that Rudy Giuliani would have been particularly pleased about being questioned by an "abortion survivor" demanding to know whether he "honestly believed that an abortionist had a right to kill me."

Seriously, the best thing these guys ever did was distance themselves from these nuts. The Values Voter debate organizers -- who included such right wing luminaries as "Ten Commandments Judge" Roy Moore, Phyllis Schlafly, and "Patriot Pastors" Rick Scarborough and Don Wildmon -- claim to represent "the largest voting block" in America.

When Mike Freakin' Huckabee doesn't win the GOP nomination, that "largest voting block" claim is going to be pretty hard to back up. But that's the danger these nuts represent -- they seriously believe that they're the mainstream and everyone thinks the way they do.

If that were true, the rest of the world would be wise to put a fence around the US and declare it the world's largest home for the mentally helpless.


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