Waiting for Jesus to come Vaccuum

I used to be one of those annoying guys that'd go door to door with a clipboard, begging money for the environment. One day I was canvassing and, after knocking, found myself talking to one of those women with the helmet hair that only super-christians and weather ladies seem to have.

I pitched her (we fundraisers were so cool - we called it a 'rap') and she told me that she and her husband never give to environmental causes. She said Jesus was going to come and fix all that, so giving to me would show a lack of faith. At this point, I figured out that she wasn't a weather lady.

"What about your house?" I asked, "Are you waiting for Jesus to come vaccuum?" She didn't seem to get the connection and I didn't want to waste either of our time, so I just moved on. I thought of her when I saw this from the Associated Press.

"WHEELING, W.Va. (AP) -- A legislative candidate's house in a historic district has been condemned after police found animal waste in at least three rooms, garbage throughout the residence and holes in the floor and roof.

"Wheeling police officers described conditions at Larry Tighe's house as deplorable. Tighe is running for a seat in the House of Delegates.

""The conditions that exist there make it unlivable," said Nancy Prager, director of the city's Office of Economic and Community Development."

Why did this remind me of the super-christian woman? Because, according to the W. Virginia Republican Party, Tighe's one of theirs. So I figure he's using the christian lady's philosophy and taking it to my logical (and until now hypothetical) extreme. He's waiting for Jesus to come vaccuum.

The AP reported that the conditions were discovered when Tighe called to report two break-ins. The responding police called building inspectors and the health department after finding 'animal feces and urine covering at least three rooms on the third floor, and holes in the roof and floor'.

How did Tighe feel about living in such waste and squalor? With the same concern most republicans have for their environment, he said that living with crap up to his eyeballs was "not considered deplorable by me."

Do I have to add that I don't think he's going to win?

--Wisco
(Keywords: politics, elections, funny, west virginia )